Matcha sort of makes me happy. It's green and grassy and it tastes of spring! It's super caffeinated (well, it takes only a bit to get the same buzz from a big cup of coffee) and it's delicious in a milkshake, latte, or desserts. Also in white chocolate (I am especially liking this one at DavidsTea). Matcha is expensive though, when you compare it to other teas. It's because it is simply exceptional! It is also super healthy, you can read about it on the internet... I actually bought a "watered-down" version of matcha from DavidsTea that is basically matcha mixed with powdered sugar.
So I made this milkshake this morning:
1 cup Soy milk
1 teaspoon matcha
1 big scoop of vanilla ice cream
In a blender or Magic Bullet (which is what I have)
Yum!
Happy weekend :)
I'm supposed to be Happy K but lately I just find things that make me Mediocrely-happy-K. But, at least I am Aware-K who is also Working-on-being-happy-K.
Currently, the issue is keeping calm when people don't respond to my emails or texts or invitations right away, or ever. For example, I asked one friend 3 times by text message and once by facebook if she wanted to go with me to the Ballet, and that over the last month and no answer yet... That's only one example.
I have issues receiving a "yes" to invitations that I sometimes make, be it to one person, or several, friends, acquaintances or coworkers. The current situation (inviting five REAL friends by Facebook Messages and getting zero replies) makes me think the problem was asking several people (5) at once. If I really wanted to go to the Ballet with someone, I'd have asked people individually, right? I'd take up most of my day to email or call and follow up many times. Note that these people had previously expressed interest in joining me!
I got me wondering, how many times am I required to follow-up? How many texts should I send before giving up? and what am I doing wrong so that people don't bother replying? Is it a coincidence that everyone in the thread accidentally forgot or had way too much going on in their lives to remember?
So, a dozen Google searches later (the first ones only coming up with social-media related invitations.......don't people care anymore about real manners and real live hanging out?) I found a site that addresses ways to invite people out, and, using the second link, how to get them to say yes!
http://www.succeedsocially.com/invitingpeopleoutexamples
http://www.copyblogger.com/get-to-yes/
I just wish more people applied common courtesy in their lives. Just because I have used facebook to invite my friends, doesn't mean I want you to treat it like a Facebook event! (i.e. don't answer, maybe means no, yes doesnt necessarily mean yes)....Either I have always had this problem, or maybe Facebook is the problem...
Anyway, if there is anyone reading this blog, please remember your social manners and be courteous to people who invite you to do anything! Thanks!
Here's a short list of etiquette that people seem to forget:
http://www.affluentmagazine.com/articles/article/371
yours,
Still-hopeful-K
What I find difficult today is dealing with manipulative people.
Change can be good, even the most negative experiences can bring out happy moments, learning experiences, new friends, etc. But there can easily be more bad out of a situation than good, and that’s usually something that tells you that more change needs to happen.
A co-worker, let’s call him Steven, has moved to the group many months ago and it has since modified the group dynamic, and I don’t like it… Sure, it has made me realize all the sorts of things that I do not tolerate or that I let myself tolerate, and consequently things I need to change about myself (don’t care as much about people that don’t care about me, don’t care what people thing, do things for me and not for anyone else, etc.). But, this guy is, basically, in one word, aggressive. He’s not violent or physically aggressive, nor does he use strong words, but he makes people (me!) around him uncomfortable in his mannerisms and words. He verbally aggresses people by making fun of them, and manipulates others. Worse, he’s nice one-on-one, with few such aggressive aspects, but in a group he is dangerous. In addition, he’s sort of the Alpha male, leading everyone together, but conjunctively we all become his puppets. I say “we” because I too have been victim. Actually, I trusted him until he used my information, things I have told him in confidence, against me to destroy my relationships with other coworkers. Now I cannot trust his smile nor his friendliness in any situation.
I have determined that he is manipulative. He bullies, makes people feel bad about themselves, and thinks that he is superior to everyone else (and that he has the Power over the rest of us). Here’s proof: he’s got a puppet! That is, another co-worker, let’s call him Joey. Joey sits beside Steven, asking Steven many questions about his life, how he has gotten to this point, financial questions, life questions, work questions, people questions (it’s very annoying). More importantly, Joey follows Steven around, only goes to the social activities Steven does and let’s be honest, is becoming like Steven. Joey was (yes, was) a really nice guy, one-on-one or in a group, he stayed true to himself, and that was really awesome! When Steven showed up, he sort of lost the nice personality and started taking on one of “Steven’s apprentice”, or “Steven’s puppet”. And, when someone pisses him off, he makes his puppet stop talking to that someone too. Steven feeds on other people’s weakness. He’s fed on mine much too much also, but that is over now!!
I’m not very assertive, but trying to be! He’s trying to manipulate me and I have to say no! I have to stand my ground, but I also have to become distant, passive, stop caring about everything, stop trying to change them, and stop being annoyed with their behaviours. I am trying to be indifferent towards my coworkers’ stupidities! Clearly I am not there yet, since I’m currently very annoyed as I write this, but at least I am aware of what I need to change and also I have resisted against his manipulations.
So dealing with a manipulative person:
1) Have to stay calm, relaxed, think about something else if you have to
2) Have to say no when I don’t want to. I have to remember that everything he says is for himself and that he doesn’t care about me. I must remember that. I need to think about me also!
3) Have to move on to another conversation topic
I like the points from this article as well, http://www.sheerbalance.com/mind-body/6-steps-to-stop-being-manipulated/ which is "6 steps to stop being manipulated". Also this article, http://lifehacker.com/5672291/how-to-manipulate-people which breaks down manipulation into a number of smaller aspects, which sort of sheds a light on the whole thing and would help you develop an anti-venom against manipulators.
Good luck!
