I struggle with being the correct level of assertive. I am a push-over then I am pushy. I am working to eliminate the push-over side and it's working. Then I say one thing and I am pushy.
What's pushy anyway? If you close up and shut down, you've been exposed to someone who is pushy. I think when Martine and Sylvain called me to do the Leadership program they were being pushy.
But then I build the relationship with my mom, let her open up to me for a few weeks, ask her questions for introspection, but as soon as I talk about 'the course', it becomes pushy?!? How does one word change the conversation? How does it go from being open to being closed and I become shut out? Am i pushy or is she closed for support? Why is it too often?
But it's not just my mom. It's my mom, my sister and my boyfriend. Maybe more, but they're the ones who have said it. That means it's something I do. What do i do that makes people close up and shut down?
You have to ask yourself: do I close up and shut down? am I afraid of support? Was it that I didn't build the relationship enough? Am I afraid of intimacy?
I think I am open to support. Probably too open. Though, I don't necessarily apply the support I get right away... which might be the cause. I was certain that I built the relationship enough, because sometimes all it takes is a simple "how are you?" and actually care. I care!
Caring, overthinking and analysing though, I am not sure those get me to the place I want to be.
It's frustrating, but something to think about.
Let me just add a link: http://leadershipfreak.wordpress.com/2013/12/18/how-to-be-assertive-not-pushy/
What's pushy anyway? If you close up and shut down, you've been exposed to someone who is pushy. I think when Martine and Sylvain called me to do the Leadership program they were being pushy.
But then I build the relationship with my mom, let her open up to me for a few weeks, ask her questions for introspection, but as soon as I talk about 'the course', it becomes pushy?!? How does one word change the conversation? How does it go from being open to being closed and I become shut out? Am i pushy or is she closed for support? Why is it too often?
But it's not just my mom. It's my mom, my sister and my boyfriend. Maybe more, but they're the ones who have said it. That means it's something I do. What do i do that makes people close up and shut down?
You have to ask yourself: do I close up and shut down? am I afraid of support? Was it that I didn't build the relationship enough? Am I afraid of intimacy?
I think I am open to support. Probably too open. Though, I don't necessarily apply the support I get right away... which might be the cause. I was certain that I built the relationship enough, because sometimes all it takes is a simple "how are you?" and actually care. I care!
Caring, overthinking and analysing though, I am not sure those get me to the place I want to be.
It's frustrating, but something to think about.
Let me just add a link: http://leadershipfreak.wordpress.com/2013/12/18/how-to-be-assertive-not-pushy/
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