Christmas on a budget

After taking steps to spend less on new things for the thrill of new things, and only on things that I truly need, or would allow me to grow, in other words, Christmas is a challenging time of year. 

I was about to send emails to everyone in my family saying "please don't give me gifts this year" or "please donate to charity instead", and "I don't want to spend money on things that won't necessarily make you happier, so please tell me what you really want for Christmas", but writing those emails turned out to be much for difficult than I expected. It also dawned on me that it was incredibly insensitive and selfish, especially doing such requests by email and not in person or by phone. 

First, giving gifts can be a wonderful happiness boost to anyone doing the giving. The experience between two people of giving of and receiving a gift can be a good bonding exercise. And asking for what my family actually wants could take the fun out of it, by eliminating the element of surprise. So I was faced with a tough decision. Make a change or keep up the family traditions. 

Traditions are important towards happiness, as I've learned recently having started reading The Happiness Project, by Gretchen Rubin. And I didn't want to stir up anything by straying away from traditions. On the other hand, we're all grown and mixing things up can also be good for us, but it will have to wait until next year. Right now, December 17th, is much too close to Christmas to be changing our shopping lists, especially since not everyone is last minute. Once Black Friday rolls around, it's too late to change the Christmas traditions - even though Black Friday is not as popular in Canada as it is in the US, it is an excellent day to start buying gifts, as the sales are excellent! 

I've also sought out information from The Internet, our #1 source of information, sad as that is... I took advice from other people embracing minimalism that, once a year, it is okay to embrace the traditions of Christmas. We may not control what others get us, but we can send gift list ideas and give gifts that are homemade, or "experience gifts". Or, another idea was to look at what kind of gifts you'd received in the past, which indicates what that person likes. 

And as it turns out I've actually been gift-conscious for 1-2 years now, buying local produce as gifts, making homemade goodies, small tokens of appreciation, and things that I'd be sure the other enjoys, without necessarily having a gift ideas list from them. 

And so, on that note, Happy Holidays to everyone!

xo Miss K (on a budget)

Two steps forward, one step back

We, humans, are by no means perfect. So striving for perfection is futile; rather, aim for progress! Two steps forward and one step back is still progress, and so we just learn from our back-steps but they don't necessarily equal failure. 

I have to tell myself that, as I struggle to beat myself down when I buy things and I've told myself not to. But it's okay, it totally happens and it's not the end of the world. So I bought frames, at least I'm going to add photos for an added value home that showcases good memories. Not only can we learn from our mistakes, we can spin them to be positive based on our perspective. We make choices. 

The fact is that I still spend money, but rather than increasing a tea collection that I won't finish up until mid- to late- 2016, I'm spending on things that will allow me to grow in one way or another: 

1. Baking supplies

Since I started a baking business (facebook page / GateauxDulce), my time concerned on it has been little. As my entrepreneur friend Sarah told me "It's not a business if you don't have business"; she's right. I'll have to make a goal of actually selling cakes to be able to call it a business. But one thing is also certain: I will have to practice to sell beautiful cakes. And in the last month, I delivered 3 cakes including my first wedding cake. Yes, I bought baking supplies, but I've got 4 potential orders in the backlog : one where I will make cupcakes in exchange for a bottle of port, one birthday cake (scheduled), one gluten-free cake (potential), and I'll be having some bake sales at work to raise funds for charity. 

Look at what I've been able to accomplish with some supplies!! I'm so very proud!

2. Frames

I have been staring at these frames for a long time ...They're on page 12 of my Indigo Wishlist!!! Yes, the plan always has been and still is to print photos from Italy (and possibly some of Greece) that are relaxing to always think about our trip when I see the pictures, recollecting good souvenirs. There is a lot of benefit added to this personal project. One, I won't be accomplishing it on my own, therefore a couple's project. Two, finally get rid of those ikea frames that mean nothing. Three, increased happiness from reminiscing of happy moments abroad. And I got them at 25% off! YAY!

3. Cake pedestals

Okay I totally did not NEED cake pedestals, but it ended up being worth it, especially one with a ruffle that (not shown) was used to display the wedding cake shown above. The result was so beautiful, it brought emotion to my throat (i.e. the step before tears to my eyes). I got one beautiful china one for a 6" cake, one 8-9" white ceramic ruffle one that I just mentioned, and one made of wood (actually I bought a wood round cake board and a wood carved candle stick, which, when used together, can make a nice rustic-look pedestal). They do take a lot of room yes, but they are worth it. Why? Because taking beautiful pictures of cakes is part of growing the business. It's part of the marketing, and the way one gets likes on social media! Very important. I shall however restrain myself from making additional cake pedestal purchases! So here is the final selection:

4. Gifts 

Since I don't want to spend money on useless gifts for myself, things that give instant gratification, things may not remain interesting for very long, then I allow myself to do so towards another. They might not like the gift but our relationship is better because I've put a little extra time considering what may make them feel good. I put together a care package recently, and although it wasn't cheap, it was worth it!

5. Experiences

Even though I try to cut down on spending, I actually do still spend about the same  amount of money in total, because we go out to eat every now and then, we go to shows. I attended the SAQ Grande Degustation last week, and I'll be going to Sugar Sammy on December 5th! Looking forward to that! Experiences we grow from, we create memories, and sure it takes funds, but in the end, it's worth it and that's what you really need to think about when making purchases!



So the lesson is, not all first perceived failures can really be described as failures, as I am still progressing and I buy things with value added. I ask myself "Is it worth it?" and "Will I take enjoyment from this in the long term?", and if the answer is yes, then go for it! 

Money concerns both people in a couple.

It happened on a normal evening, all I did was say that I didn't want to buy an expensive new coffee machine, even though yes the coffee did sound delicious. I said I'm trying not to spend on things I didn't need, and I said I was aiming for a minimalist lifestyle. The word "minimalist" set off a bomb of fear from my partner, he freaked-out at the thought of a radical change in my lifestyle that did not include him. Here's an article for you, mister: The Minimalists (click the link for full article).

Minimalism is not a radical lifestyle. Minimalism is a tool I use to get rid of unnecessary stuff and live a meaningful life—a life filled with happiness, freedom, and conscious awareness.

Since we had some big discussion about the purchase of a drone a few months back, it started with a friendly competition on who can save the most money (however difficult that is to measure) and it turned into a serious evaluation of my spending habits. On my birthday I received a cookbook and for the first time I did not want a cookbook, because I already maximized the space I had for cookbooks, but I started noticing all around how many things I had bought because I knew I needed or wanted, and now I have a serious lack of space everywhere in our house. 

A house, so roomy compared to an apartment, so I've permitted myself to own more things, but now, now I realize how so many things get lost and how I don't remember where I've placed certain things, and how they don't actually bring me happiness. Basically, I just have too much stuff, and  like a drop that makes the vase overflow, I realized it all at once, all it took was one too many cookbooks.  

But back to the point, the reason he freaked out was probably related to some fears that I'm losing my mind or that life will become boring, based on his views of what "minimalism" meant, but isn't necessarily the same as what I understand it to be. 

But this led me to wonder to what extent did my minimalism journey negatively affect others while benefiting me? How many expenditures can I really cut when the partner in my life is not cutting out unnecessary expenses? Does beautifying our home and buying kitchen gadgets to make our common lives better fit into the "useless spending" category? Where is the line between fun, useful and meaningful? I've got to think of it before making a decision. For example, perhaps buying frames for travel photos might be okay (will bring us both happiness) while a new coffee machine might not be okay (only bringing him happiness). 

But even then, couple life is about compromises and so I will probably end up still purchasing items that I don't particularly enjoy,  but he does and so I concede. That can happen.

Sources of inspiration 

1. Blonde on a Budget http://blondeonabudget.ca/2014/07/07/the-year-i-plan-to-embrace-minimalism/

Biggest tease list!

This blog entry is about $MONEY$! and my no-spending diet. 

It's been pretty difficult to resist spending, and I'm very masochistic in the fact that I am still subscribed to receive updates from my favorite online stores! I'm sharing below a list of items that I've been dying to own, but......but I must resist. And so they continue to be online big teases, and I shall resist! 

But I need to share the list, perhaps to bring me some closure. I used to have a diary, in which I would jot down ideas and make pros/cons list and almost always, I'd discover something while writing that gave me a sense of peace or understanding. I never know in advance what I'm going to write, and maybe an idea will come to me that will actually bring me closure, and then I will have achieved my goal for today. 

1. ModCloth No International Shipping promotion!

ModCloth is having a sale where shipping is free for international shipping! I live in Canada, and ModCloth works in the USA, so shipping to Canada is less than ideal. I bought a skirt and a handtowel, coming out to about 100$ after tax, in US dollars, so that meant I had to pay the bank's exchange rate + a 2.5% credit card fee for the foreign currency. Then, the shipping, the shipping! The shipping base rate was around 20$ (I can't remember exactly), and then the customs ! The customs fee was another 20-30$. So the whole thing cost me an arm, and it is a major source of lost money. See, if I lived in the USA, I'd be able to get free return shipping, and if the total cost is above a certain amount, free shipping to your house as well! 

I love ModCloth, since they have so many 40s and 50s style dresses (as well as other eras), but this is a style I seriously love, I almost wish I lived in that era with the dresses and the music (but at the same time, I'm happy I live in this era, where I am able to work and have an independent life, independent on the income of a man, for example). They have so many cool and quirky styles and objects, and so many pretty dresses, I want so many items. 

So I think you now understand why this deal here is a total tease +100.  

2. Indigo Chapters Home : Pumpkin-shaped Soup Tureen

So not only is this soup tureen super awesome, because let's be honest, it could be used for Halloween including for Halloween candy, but also for soup, which is useful when you are serving soup to the table, but also for whatever else you may want to serve during the fall when you invite some people over. 

But no, that's not all. Now, it's on SALE!!! And now I also want a little soup bowl, which is similar, but yes smaller, which I could use for Halloween candy! I could have a Halloween or "Friendsgiving" party, and have these bowls out and I'd be such an awesome host! And they won't have this next year, so I must have it this year! No, there will never me fall or Halloween decorations sold at Indigo ever again! Hahaha

I actually already have a couple soup bowls, about the size of onion soup bowls, in the shape of pumpkins and they are orange! with a handle, like a mug, but also a cover, like a pumpkin, so they are cool. And for this reason, I am telling myself I do not need another pumpkin shaped dish. (but I do!) 

But these thoughts are exactly why I am trying not to spend this year. What is this dependence on "new products" that I am experiencing?!?  Something i want to eliminate from my emotions list. I mean, other than the occasional treat of course, but I will have to wait until July 2016 for that! (or find other ways to treat myself)

3. DavidsTea sales and promotions

DavidsTea is my greatest enemy at this time. It is the thing that I own the most of and the thing that I need to cut back on purchasing the most. Sure it's a consumable product, but I buy it at a higher rate than I consume it, and that's become overwhelming, as in it takes too much space in my cupboards. Space I could use for more useful kitchen tools. 

Here's the latest and greatest:

I actually was able to resist the end-of-summer 40% off sale, I am so surprised and at the same time proud of myself for resisting. I would check the specials regularly, and calculate which tea products were worth more bang for the buck, and then I even made a shopping list for myself (several times). I filled then emptied my "cart" many times. The thing I hate about DavidsTea's website, that the cart get's emptied if you close the window (unlike Indigo), has become a good thing, because I'd refill the cart many times, and realized how I really didn't need these items. Even though I really really wanted them! 

So this special, you only need to buy 50$ of stuff (normally it's like 75$) and you get a 20$ gift! So nice! I'm always this close to giving up my challenge just so that I could have a candle that smells like crisp apples! But then again, I could actually eat a crisp apple, or make apple crisp! (haha!) Or better yet, sniff the pumpkin candle I do own! 

I'm always this close to breaking my rule to have some extra Pumpkin Chai in my cupboard. It's my favorite tea.... Can I make an exception? The reason I'm wavering is that I have about 8 teacups worth left of that tea. Is that enough? That is the question!

So that's my list. I hope I can be able to resist further! Wish me luck!

Happy K

The No-Spending Diet

I'm doing a no-spending diet. I'm trying to see how much I can not-spend between July 2015 and July 2016. Of course, measuring savings is actually quite difficult. How can I guarantee I would have bought that item I want, and didn't buy it just because I'm on a no-spending diet? I can't. 

The rules:

Things I can buy:
- Groceries : I am allowed to buy regular and fancy groceries, as long as I use everything before it goes bad, and that I don't leave canned goods and other non-perishable items forever and ever without using. I must also consume canned goods and other non-perishable items that have been in my pantry for over a year, or else donate them at food drives.
- Clothing: only when something needs replacing. I gave myself an exception for ModCloth when I went to San Francisco and I got some bras because I haven't gotten new undergarments since forever.
- Gifts: because I am choosing minimalism, not others.
- House items: if both Benoit and I agree that we NEED it. 
- Baking items: only if I it is for an order or if there is a concrete plan in place to sell goodies created with that item.
- Vacation: normal purchases are allowed on vacation, provided that I evaluate the want vs. the need (esp. for souvenirs).

Things I must not buy:
- Tea. I must not buy new tea from DavidsTea or other until I am left with less than 10 teas in my cupboard. 
- Anything from Indigo. Especially not decorative seasonal items, and anything in the paper department (journals, notepads, etc.)
- Books: I must not buy books. Not until I have read all the books that I currently own that are unread. 
- Gift decorating items: such as wrapping paper, bows, labels and ribbons. Although I am allowed to buy gifts, I am not allowed to buy gift decorating things. I may not have everything, but I have too much wrapping paper, and I need to start using it.

Now accepting bets on how long I will be able to last! I'll try to keep this blog updated on related thoughts, challenges and savings.

Laters,
Miss K on a Budget

Best purchases of 2015

Now that I've started a no-spending diet, I'm also slowly attempting to declutter. I'm finding more clarity on which items in my household are useless crap I bought for fun and which ones are excellent purchases.
As a way to honor my excellent purchases, I'm attempting to make a list in this blog, so that we can both, all of us, deepen our sense of appreciation for certain objects we own, and work on identifying value in other objects we own, or future objects we are about to purchase. 

1. Birkenstock sandals


I've had some knee problems in the last 3 summers because I tried playing squash, and my knees were not strong enough for the strain and I've had to do 3 rounds of physiotherapy and I am still at this time not very confident in getting back into it or impact sports in general. One big problem was shoes. None of my shoes had arch support, and I'd go through the summer in flat flip flops and year-round in a variety of other flat support-less shoes. I'd seen these shoes on a few people and they all swear by their Birkenstocks, so I thought I'd give it a go. Best shoe purchase ever! They are basically the only thing I wear in the summer.

2.  Iced Tea travel mug (DavidsTea)

So, I bought this mug (in fuchsia), and it's the best mug I've ever had. It contains 16 oz, and keeps liquids cold or warm all day. I don't even use the diffuser basket or the tea compartment and it's worth my money. I use it every day 3 times a day for hot tea, cold tea, carrying ice... It's my best mate. (That and tea from DavidsTea of course. I've also discovered cold steeping, which is totally awesome! I could probably write a full blog just on tea...)

3. Non slip mat (I bought a small roll at the dollar store)

I bake cakes. I sell cakes, and then I have to transport them by car to destination. 9 times out of ten, it leaves the house looking nice and on the way, something gets stuck in the icing and ruins my overall look, and I have to do some touch-ups. Actually, it's a miracle when it survives the journey!! 

When, last April, this cake (left), turned into this (after a big fall, some touching up, right), 

I bought the non-slip mat and then my cake travels have been spared the squished sides that used to be so familiar to me! Thank you dollar store! (note that larger cake boards and boxes add to the experience!)

4. Memory foam pillow

I can't show a picture of mine, because I got it IKEA but they no longer carry the pillow I have. It supports my head, I'm a side sleeper, and I haven never slept so good in my life. 

5- Double-wall glasses 

Sort of the same as #2 above, but I don't know if boiling water would be that great of an idea for this one... Super useful for iced tea! I'd like to mention that I discovered cold steeping tea - don't need to boil water! - such an amazing idea! 

The Law of Attraction

When I first heard of the law of attraction, it was with the book and movie "The secret" by Rhonda Byrne. I got the concept, all right, but I didn't really like the way they put forth the idea that magically things happen just by asking for them. Because they didn't really focus on the fact that you have to take action to get what you want!

But it's true about the law of attraction. How when you are in a certain mindset, those things that help you become visible whether or not they've existed before. For example, when I started thinking about selling cakes, all of a sudden the internet was full of small business articles. I asked my friend "is it just me or is it really fashionable to have a small business?" and he said he didn't notice! Ha proof #1! I came across tons of interesting articles about starting a business because I was starting a business!

Proof #2: After having gone to Hawaii in December, all I see are pineapples. Granted they are appearing in the fashion world, but I am talking about prints, cards, at the grocery store, tea flavours, soap scents. And not just that, I'm noticing when my friends on Facebook go to Hawaii. And I'm noticing Hawaiian books, tropical scents (pineapple, coconut...) and Hawaiian recipes online.

And now the current now: money, or more specifically, saving money. My friend told me about a site she reads: Blonde on a Budget, (and by the way I hadn't told her I was trying to save money), and all of a sudden, Mint starts emailing me again, I'm trying to not buy anything "stupid". Most of all I am trying not to spend money on new tea from DavidsTea and home deco items at Indigo Chapters. and that has been really difficult. I hope to continue talking about this subject in future posts!

Until next time, keep bettering
Yours,
Happy Miss K

5 current life improvements

A short post to serve as an update, things I am focusing on, things to improve and take action on:

1. Gratitude

I continue to practice gratitude. I've noticed recently that when people ask me "How are you?" I tend to take all the good stuff for granted (--> the everyday things like being healthy and employed, as well as the small daily things like a delicious cup of tea or someone asking me how my day is going), so that the things I want to mention are all negative (aches and pains, deadlines, work stresses, annoying coworkers) and so my average mood is always negative. 

Action I'm taking: instead of mentioning bad things, when people ask How are you? force myself to say good and think of something positive. 

2. Circle of influence

Following some end-of-year evaluations and feedback, the reputation I've built is one where I seem to be elsewhere that at work. it's not so much being negative as it is just thinking about other things and being "in the moon" as I like to say, dazed. 

Apparently the heart has a electromagnetic field that is 8 meters radius all around us, and that in some way it affects the people around us. Our mood will affect people around us. 

Action I'm taking: acting confident, trusting, lead by example, be the fire and the bright light in the room. That means smiling in front of others, correcting my posture, listening attentively, thanking others for their actions. Coworkers, family and significant other. I usually don't have that problem with friends.

3. Communication in the family

In my family, we accept errors of those around us by not ever bringing them up and bottling our anger. We also assume how other people will respond, and therefore not include them in plans or not go ahead with plans (depending). So I'm taking it upon myself to change my relationships with them because that's not acceptable for me any more. 

Actions I'm taking: Say when I'm hurt, even if I feel extremely vulnerable. Ask to be informed for certain decisions. Inform them of my decisions.

4. Me time

When I focus solely on important tasks , that are usually urgent or stress me a little because they're so important (like my bakery- ... oh that's right! I didn't post about that yet! in the meantime: www.gateauxdulce.com) I get judgemental on myself - not doing enough, not doing it fast enough, spending too much time watching TV (that part is true). 

On the other hand, when I read and do things I've been putting off that are enjoyable such as creative activities, reading and planning a trip, I feel like life is good. 

Actions I'm taking: Replace TV and online shopping with reading, baking, planning and creative things like drawing, painting, etc.

5. No spending on useless crap

Speaking of online shopping, after a big discussion about whether or not we should buy a drone for travel videos, which costs about 2500$ by the way, I've decided to see how much stuff I can cut out of my spending. 

Actions I'm taking: When I have ingredients for lunches in the fridge, but don't feel I have the time, I will make a lunch so as not spend money on a lunch at work. I'm super addicted to Indigo Chapters and DavidsTea so not spending there will be the hardest. I bought a gift at DavidsTea and then found a better gift (guess where? Indigo!), so I guess that was a failure (but I eat failure for breakfast) because I ended up with extra tea. But no more! 40% off online tea......... I check the specials daily but so far I haven't bought any! Yay! Only once I run out then I can buy more.... it'll be a while!!

I encourage you to set big goals and to take small actions every day to achieve them! Something that has helped me a lot is this Passion Planner, Thank you!

Signed, 
Miss K

Jealousy

A new pattern for me: jealousy

Jealousy isn’t something I am altogether familiar with…well, yes and no. Yes I am familiar with the heart ache I feel with jealousy, when someone I know has something I don’t and that I feel shitty for not being at the same place, but No in the sense that it’s rare that I get jealous. I must more often get that feeling just because I am judging myself: “I should be more like ____, but I’m not, and I hate myself for it”

I just got jealous again. My friend who’s shown me that she’s changed so much after taking a personal development class, I got inspired to do the same. I too have gone through a lot of positive changes. Now she’s totally changed careers and she’s starting her own business… and that’s what set off that feeling of “I’m not good enough” followed by “and I am never going to be.”

I took a moment to calm down and thought it through. Emotions are useful: they tell us something and figuring out what they are trying to tell us is Emotional Intelligence. This jealousy is telling me that I would like to eventually own a business. It is also telling me that I want to be excited about work, as she was.

And finally I can’t just push aside jealousy, by putting it into a small box for a rainy day. No – feel it, and accept it. It’s okay to be jealous. Now take action. You want to find career happiness, Karen? well go and find it. There is no other way. I’m sure she has gone through jealousy herself, and gone through a lot of negative emotions before finding something for her. Also, I can’t expect to have the same pathway to happiness as her, as our pasts are not at all the same, and our selves are two entirely different people.

I feel better already.

(PS. Reading material: http://www.forbes.com/sites/work-in-progress/2012/08/01/the-real-reason-youre-jealous-of-your-friends-success/2/)