Quote of the day

Every day, treat yourself as if you were your own best friend.

We will be victorious (Inspirational Sounds)

I have taken a giant step for myself in the last week, being assertive and putting my needs above others (which doesn't really happen a lot). But unfortunately, my actions caused a negative reaction, and a very immature reactions. I have been feeling like I have lost the power over my own feelings, since I went from "this is good, I am being assertive and confident" to "I did the wrong thing, why am I feeling like this?". So there are a good songs to boost my mood up and to let go of my doubts. 

1. "Uprising" by Muse, one of my favorite bands!!

Rise up and take the power back

It's time the, fat cats had a heart attack

You know that, their time's coming to an end

We have to, unify and watch our flag ascend

(So come on)

They will not force us

They will stop degrading us

They will not control us

We will be victorious

So come on

2. Wings by Little Mix

Your words don't mean a thing

I'm not listening

Keep talking, all I know is :

Mamma told me not to waste my life

She said spread your wings my little butterfly

Don't let what they say keep you up at night

And they can't detain you

'Cos wings are made to fly

And we don't let nobody bring us down

No matter what you say it won't hurt me

Don't matter if I fall from the sky

These wings are made to fly

Milkshake for a saturday morning

Matcha sort of makes me happy. It's green and grassy and it tastes of spring! It's super caffeinated (well, it takes only a bit to get the same buzz from a big cup of coffee) and it's delicious in a milkshake, latte, or desserts. Also in white chocolate (I am especially liking this one at DavidsTea). Matcha is expensive though, when you compare it to other teas. It's because it is simply exceptional! It is also super healthy, you can read about it on the internet... I actually bought a "watered-down" version of matcha from DavidsTea that is basically matcha mixed with powdered sugar. 

So I made this milkshake this morning:

1 cup Soy milk
1 teaspoon matcha
1 big scoop of vanilla ice cream

In a blender or Magic Bullet (which is what I have)

Yum!

Happy weekend :)

Less-than-happy K (a note on courtesy)

I'm supposed to be Happy K but lately I just find things that make me Mediocrely-happy-K. But, at least I am Aware-K who is also Working-on-being-happy-K.

Currently, the issue is keeping calm when people don't respond to my emails or texts or invitations right away, or ever. For example, I asked one friend 3 times by text message and once by facebook if she wanted to go with me to the Ballet, and that over the last month and no answer yet... That's only one example. 

I have issues receiving a "yes" to invitations that I sometimes make, be it to one person, or several, friends, acquaintances or coworkers. The current situation (inviting five REAL friends by Facebook Messages and getting zero replies) makes me think the problem was asking several people (5) at once. If I really wanted to go to the Ballet with someone, I'd have asked people individually, right? I'd take up most of my day to email or call and follow up many times. Note that these people had previously expressed interest in joining me!

I got me wondering, how many times am I required to follow-up? How many texts should I send before giving up? and what am I doing wrong so that people don't bother replying? Is it a coincidence that everyone in the thread accidentally forgot or had way too much going on in their lives to remember? 

So, a dozen Google searches later (the first ones only coming up with social-media related invitations.......don't people care anymore about real manners and real live hanging out?) I found a site that addresses ways to invite people out, and, using the second link, how to get them to say yes!

http://www.succeedsocially.com/invitingpeopleoutexamples 
http://www.copyblogger.com/get-to-yes/

I just wish more people applied common courtesy in their lives. Just because I have used facebook to invite my friends, doesn't mean I want you to treat it like a Facebook event! (i.e. don't answer, maybe means no, yes doesnt necessarily mean yes)....Either I have always had this problem, or maybe Facebook is the problem... 

Anyway, if there is anyone reading this blog, please remember your social manners and be courteous to people who invite you to do anything! Thanks!

Here's a short list of etiquette that people seem to forget:
http://www.affluentmagazine.com/articles/article/371 

yours,
Still-hopeful-K

Stop manipulation!

What I find difficult today is dealing with manipulative people.

Change can be good, even the most negative experiences can bring out happy moments, learning experiences, new friends, etc. But there can easily be more bad out of a situation than good, and that’s usually something that tells you that more change needs to happen.

A co-worker, let’s call him Steven, has moved to the group many months ago and it has since modified the group dynamic, and I don’t like it… Sure, it has made me realize all the sorts of things that I do not tolerate or that I let myself tolerate, and consequently things I need to change about myself (don’t care as much about people that don’t care about me, don’t care what people thing, do things for me and not for anyone else, etc.). But, this guy is, basically, in one word, aggressive. He’s not violent or physically aggressive, nor does he use strong words, but he makes people (me!) around him uncomfortable in his mannerisms and words. He verbally aggresses people by making fun of them, and manipulates others. Worse, he’s nice one-on-one, with few such aggressive aspects, but in a group he is dangerous. In addition, he’s sort of the Alpha male, leading everyone together, but conjunctively we all become his puppets. I say “we” because I too have been victim. Actually, I trusted him until he used my information, things I have told him in confidence, against me to destroy my relationships with other coworkers. Now I cannot trust his smile nor his friendliness in any situation.

I have determined that he is manipulative. He bullies, makes people feel bad about themselves, and thinks that he is superior to everyone else (and that he has the Power over the rest of us). Here’s proof: he’s got a puppet! That is, another co-worker, let’s call him Joey. Joey sits beside Steven, asking Steven many questions about his life, how he has gotten to this point, financial questions, life questions, work questions, people questions (it’s very annoying). More importantly, Joey follows Steven around, only goes to the social activities Steven does and let’s be honest, is becoming like Steven. Joey was (yes, was) a really nice guy, one-on-one or in a group, he stayed true to himself, and that was really awesome! When Steven showed up, he sort of lost the nice personality and started taking on one of “Steven’s apprentice”, or “Steven’s puppet”. And, when someone pisses him off, he makes his puppet stop talking to that someone too. Steven feeds on other people’s weakness.  He’s fed on mine much too much also, but that is over now!!

I’m not very assertive, but trying to be! He’s trying to manipulate me and I have to say no! I have to stand my ground, but I also have to become distant, passive, stop caring about everything, stop trying to change them, and stop being annoyed with their behaviours. I am trying to be indifferent towards my coworkers’ stupidities! Clearly I am not there yet, since I’m currently very annoyed as I write this, but at least I am aware of what I need to change and also I have resisted against his manipulations.

So dealing with a manipulative person:

1) Have to stay calm, relaxed, think about something else if you have to
2) Have to say no when I don’t want to. I have to remember that everything he says is for himself and that he doesn’t care about me. I must remember that. I need to think about me also!
3) Have to move on to another conversation topic

I like the points from this article as well, http://www.sheerbalance.com/mind-body/6-steps-to-stop-being-manipulated/ which is "6 steps to stop being manipulated". Also this article, http://lifehacker.com/5672291/how-to-manipulate-people which breaks down manipulation into a number of smaller aspects, which sort of sheds a light on the whole thing and would help you develop an anti-venom against manipulators.

Good luck!

15 Tips To Turn That Frown Upside Down!

This article "15 Things to Give Up to be Happy" is awful. I've seen it multiple times over the internet, I'm not really sure who's the real source behind it anymore... I think this is a really awful article because 1) it's really negative (stop this, stop that, don't be this, don't be that - no one responds well to negative commands!) and 2) it makes happiness a destination, a goal. When in reality, people who are happy don't actually TRY to be happy. Trying to be happy is the opposite of being happy! It's so frustrating....

Ok breathe... 

Be zen...

So, according to me, this is the way the article should go:

1) Accept that you are sometimes wrong.

2) Let situations, people and things be as they are. You can only control yourself. Relax and go with the flow. 

3) Take responsibility of your life. You are the only person who can control your actions and make changes to your life and your personality.

4) Believe in yourself. Keep a positive outlook on yourself. You are beautiful and you are loved.

5) Believe in yourself. You can do anything! The sky is the limit!

6) Your point of view and your emotions are controled by you only. Turn your complaints off, you dont need to be upset if you dont want to be!

7) Let them be. Let other people live their own journeys. Everyone wants love and happiness; we're all looking for the same thing, so let them find it at their own rate and in their own way.

8) Be yourself - and that's what will impress others!

9) Accept chabge. Change is ok. Know that there is always something good that comes out of change.

10) Be open minded to new experiences and welcome learning. You will be better for it.

11) Just do it! Fear is in your head. Think of it as strength and courage.

12) Just do it! Excuses are lies in your head. Excuses are a waste of precious time. You only have one life.

13) Live in the present. Take a breather and live for right now. How do you feel right now and how would you rather feel right now. Be the best you at this given moment. Forget the past and the future, its not worth losing time over something that doesn't exist.

14) Be at peace, be zen, be tolerant, be serene. That is how you let go.

15) Be you and be yourself. Listen to yourself, your mind, your body, your heart. Live your life to the fullest. 

And honestly, these guidelines have already helped me on numerous occasions and have already started to transform me into a better me. Whereas that other article? Makes me want to crawl into a ball in the corner. 

Love, K

Bookmarks of kindness

There are a lot of websites and blogs dedicated to making random people happy. It's crazy how many people experience a down and are in need of kindness to pick up their moods and make their days brighter. I'm one of them! 

Here are a few inspirational websites and blogs I'd like to share:

- Operation Beautiful, who posts sticky notes anonymously anywhere to promote positive self-image, and posts notes of other people around the globe. Here are some interesting sites as part of her resources. 
- Secret Agent L, who drops small gifts anonymously around her city (and the help of affiliated agents in other cities) to improve people's days and moods. One person performed 21 acts of kindness on her birthday instead of receiving gifts: now, that's inspirational!

- Random Acts of Kindness, which is a foundation to promote random good deeds. Here's a list of ideas.  Turns out, we just missed World Kindness Day (Wednesday, November 13th, 2013) but I'm happy to know that I was writing happy sticky notes on that day!

- More love letters, who writes love letters to people who send in snail-mail addresses. I think now, people everywhere are sending mini-notes, similarly to Operation Beautiful. People everywhere are also responding to love letter requests.
-You Are Remarkable, which is dedicated to making people feel loved, important, and remarkable in every way. 
-Hope is in the cards, which simply encourages us to send notes of "hope" with thanks or encouragement. 
-Pay it forward, which lists acts of kindness to perform and hopefully the receiver will pay it forward. I like this E-How link: How to Pay it Forward.
-Love Anonymously, which is sort of what started my blog and journey here. Here is a list of some interesting kindness sites. 
-Color Me Katie, which is just Katie doing random colorful happy activities, but all the posts just make you happy! For example this post, How to make a bad day better. 

And that's all I have right now, but I'm sure there will be many more added to this list in the coming months. 

Smile!