Money concerns both people in a couple.

It happened on a normal evening, all I did was say that I didn't want to buy an expensive new coffee machine, even though yes the coffee did sound delicious. I said I'm trying not to spend on things I didn't need, and I said I was aiming for a minimalist lifestyle. The word "minimalist" set off a bomb of fear from my partner, he freaked-out at the thought of a radical change in my lifestyle that did not include him. Here's an article for you, mister: The Minimalists (click the link for full article).

Minimalism is not a radical lifestyle. Minimalism is a tool I use to get rid of unnecessary stuff and live a meaningful life—a life filled with happiness, freedom, and conscious awareness.

Since we had some big discussion about the purchase of a drone a few months back, it started with a friendly competition on who can save the most money (however difficult that is to measure) and it turned into a serious evaluation of my spending habits. On my birthday I received a cookbook and for the first time I did not want a cookbook, because I already maximized the space I had for cookbooks, but I started noticing all around how many things I had bought because I knew I needed or wanted, and now I have a serious lack of space everywhere in our house. 

A house, so roomy compared to an apartment, so I've permitted myself to own more things, but now, now I realize how so many things get lost and how I don't remember where I've placed certain things, and how they don't actually bring me happiness. Basically, I just have too much stuff, and  like a drop that makes the vase overflow, I realized it all at once, all it took was one too many cookbooks.  

But back to the point, the reason he freaked out was probably related to some fears that I'm losing my mind or that life will become boring, based on his views of what "minimalism" meant, but isn't necessarily the same as what I understand it to be. 

But this led me to wonder to what extent did my minimalism journey negatively affect others while benefiting me? How many expenditures can I really cut when the partner in my life is not cutting out unnecessary expenses? Does beautifying our home and buying kitchen gadgets to make our common lives better fit into the "useless spending" category? Where is the line between fun, useful and meaningful? I've got to think of it before making a decision. For example, perhaps buying frames for travel photos might be okay (will bring us both happiness) while a new coffee machine might not be okay (only bringing him happiness). 

But even then, couple life is about compromises and so I will probably end up still purchasing items that I don't particularly enjoy,  but he does and so I concede. That can happen.

Sources of inspiration 

1. Blonde on a Budget http://blondeonabudget.ca/2014/07/07/the-year-i-plan-to-embrace-minimalism/

Getting out of the vicious circle

"If you feed the madness, it feeds on you" from the episode I JUST watched in Once Upon a Time

A few "bad" things (it's a matter of perspective, don't you think?) happened in a row and it snowballed: I lost control of myself then got into a doom & gloom mood for a couple of weeks, a "phase". In that phase, which I've had before a few times, I go down hard on myself, and then hate myself for everything I do. It's the harsh self-talk that goes on in my head when I'm not doing something fun. I do do fun things that make me temporarily happy and forget, which I think is part of the reason I get out of the negativity phase eventually, but they feel like escapes. Because when those fun things end, I go back to the black cloud mood where it's easy to be mad, it's easy to hate, it's easy to blame. 

I had this twice since I went to Open Heart in April 2014, and got out of it consciously, using the tools I got from the seminar. Because of that course, I'm aware and conscious. It sucks, but it's good at the same time because I know what I need to do. It sucks because it adds another reason to hate myself (therefore, vicious circle), but it's good because, as I ruin, blame, cry, get angry and wish bad things on people who didn't do anything, I also put time to exercise, do my written exercises that I learned from the seminar, take time to do breathing exercises, and meditations that inspire me, because I know those work. 

But man, is it hard to start, to put effort and be uncomfortable! But starting, well, that's non-optional for where I want to go!

I have motivation to find the happy version of me, it's really good, and I'm so thankful to have found a way to get there, even if I have to do it over and over .

People and sites I follow that inspire me:
http://instagram.com/maddykatelier
http://mindvalleyacademy.com/
http://cupcakesandcashmere.com/ (special mention for her newest post my-5-steps-for-tackling-anxiety)

Quote of the day

Every day, treat yourself as if you were your own best friend.

We will be victorious (Inspirational Sounds)

I have taken a giant step for myself in the last week, being assertive and putting my needs above others (which doesn't really happen a lot). But unfortunately, my actions caused a negative reaction, and a very immature reactions. I have been feeling like I have lost the power over my own feelings, since I went from "this is good, I am being assertive and confident" to "I did the wrong thing, why am I feeling like this?". So there are a good songs to boost my mood up and to let go of my doubts. 

1. "Uprising" by Muse, one of my favorite bands!!

Rise up and take the power back

It's time the, fat cats had a heart attack

You know that, their time's coming to an end

We have to, unify and watch our flag ascend

(So come on)

They will not force us

They will stop degrading us

They will not control us

We will be victorious

So come on

2. Wings by Little Mix

Your words don't mean a thing

I'm not listening

Keep talking, all I know is :

Mamma told me not to waste my life

She said spread your wings my little butterfly

Don't let what they say keep you up at night

And they can't detain you

'Cos wings are made to fly

And we don't let nobody bring us down

No matter what you say it won't hurt me

Don't matter if I fall from the sky

These wings are made to fly

Mental Health for a Man

Hi there.

In the hours since I have become a member of Movember, I have been curiouser and curiouser about what mental issues plagues a man, if any, and what methods (quotes or other means of sharing knowledge...) can help reduce mental problems in the masculine population. 

My logic to date, since yesterday, has been that some men need verbal assurance like women do...but I somehow think the percentage of men is very small. Should I post things like "you are good enough" or "you are awesome"? Or should I try a different approach such as manly inspirational quotes (like yesterday's post-it note)? It's difficult finding suitable quotes for men. 

Today, I found a site called "The Art of Manliness", which is totally awesome!! There is a random post button which is great, and I totally want one. The entire site has manly font and old fashioned pictures which I totally love. (It reminds me of this book "Let's bring back" which lists great old-fashioned activities that aren't popular anymore.) So, I found a page of TONS of manly inspirational quotes on their site. They say that there is a lack of manly quotes on the internet and I totally agree! On this website, they post a few quotes with black and white images of manly men and I think it would be a good idea to print these images and post them as my random notes of Movember awareness.  Here's a good one. I'll print it and post it somewhere in the hallways.



On a side note, since a guy I know told me once he looks up to Georges St-Pierre, the quebecois boxer, I thought of looking up some inspirational quotes from him too. I found some! Here's one:


I'm on it.

Over and out.