Biggest tease list!

This blog entry is about $MONEY$! and my no-spending diet. 

It's been pretty difficult to resist spending, and I'm very masochistic in the fact that I am still subscribed to receive updates from my favorite online stores! I'm sharing below a list of items that I've been dying to own, but......but I must resist. And so they continue to be online big teases, and I shall resist! 

But I need to share the list, perhaps to bring me some closure. I used to have a diary, in which I would jot down ideas and make pros/cons list and almost always, I'd discover something while writing that gave me a sense of peace or understanding. I never know in advance what I'm going to write, and maybe an idea will come to me that will actually bring me closure, and then I will have achieved my goal for today. 

1. ModCloth No International Shipping promotion!

ModCloth is having a sale where shipping is free for international shipping! I live in Canada, and ModCloth works in the USA, so shipping to Canada is less than ideal. I bought a skirt and a handtowel, coming out to about 100$ after tax, in US dollars, so that meant I had to pay the bank's exchange rate + a 2.5% credit card fee for the foreign currency. Then, the shipping, the shipping! The shipping base rate was around 20$ (I can't remember exactly), and then the customs ! The customs fee was another 20-30$. So the whole thing cost me an arm, and it is a major source of lost money. See, if I lived in the USA, I'd be able to get free return shipping, and if the total cost is above a certain amount, free shipping to your house as well! 

I love ModCloth, since they have so many 40s and 50s style dresses (as well as other eras), but this is a style I seriously love, I almost wish I lived in that era with the dresses and the music (but at the same time, I'm happy I live in this era, where I am able to work and have an independent life, independent on the income of a man, for example). They have so many cool and quirky styles and objects, and so many pretty dresses, I want so many items. 

So I think you now understand why this deal here is a total tease +100.  

2. Indigo Chapters Home : Pumpkin-shaped Soup Tureen

So not only is this soup tureen super awesome, because let's be honest, it could be used for Halloween including for Halloween candy, but also for soup, which is useful when you are serving soup to the table, but also for whatever else you may want to serve during the fall when you invite some people over. 

But no, that's not all. Now, it's on SALE!!! And now I also want a little soup bowl, which is similar, but yes smaller, which I could use for Halloween candy! I could have a Halloween or "Friendsgiving" party, and have these bowls out and I'd be such an awesome host! And they won't have this next year, so I must have it this year! No, there will never me fall or Halloween decorations sold at Indigo ever again! Hahaha

I actually already have a couple soup bowls, about the size of onion soup bowls, in the shape of pumpkins and they are orange! with a handle, like a mug, but also a cover, like a pumpkin, so they are cool. And for this reason, I am telling myself I do not need another pumpkin shaped dish. (but I do!) 

But these thoughts are exactly why I am trying not to spend this year. What is this dependence on "new products" that I am experiencing?!?  Something i want to eliminate from my emotions list. I mean, other than the occasional treat of course, but I will have to wait until July 2016 for that! (or find other ways to treat myself)

3. DavidsTea sales and promotions

DavidsTea is my greatest enemy at this time. It is the thing that I own the most of and the thing that I need to cut back on purchasing the most. Sure it's a consumable product, but I buy it at a higher rate than I consume it, and that's become overwhelming, as in it takes too much space in my cupboards. Space I could use for more useful kitchen tools. 

Here's the latest and greatest:

I actually was able to resist the end-of-summer 40% off sale, I am so surprised and at the same time proud of myself for resisting. I would check the specials regularly, and calculate which tea products were worth more bang for the buck, and then I even made a shopping list for myself (several times). I filled then emptied my "cart" many times. The thing I hate about DavidsTea's website, that the cart get's emptied if you close the window (unlike Indigo), has become a good thing, because I'd refill the cart many times, and realized how I really didn't need these items. Even though I really really wanted them! 

So this special, you only need to buy 50$ of stuff (normally it's like 75$) and you get a 20$ gift! So nice! I'm always this close to giving up my challenge just so that I could have a candle that smells like crisp apples! But then again, I could actually eat a crisp apple, or make apple crisp! (haha!) Or better yet, sniff the pumpkin candle I do own! 

I'm always this close to breaking my rule to have some extra Pumpkin Chai in my cupboard. It's my favorite tea.... Can I make an exception? The reason I'm wavering is that I have about 8 teacups worth left of that tea. Is that enough? That is the question!

So that's my list. I hope I can be able to resist further! Wish me luck!

Happy K

The No-Spending Diet

I'm doing a no-spending diet. I'm trying to see how much I can not-spend between July 2015 and July 2016. Of course, measuring savings is actually quite difficult. How can I guarantee I would have bought that item I want, and didn't buy it just because I'm on a no-spending diet? I can't. 

The rules:

Things I can buy:
- Groceries : I am allowed to buy regular and fancy groceries, as long as I use everything before it goes bad, and that I don't leave canned goods and other non-perishable items forever and ever without using. I must also consume canned goods and other non-perishable items that have been in my pantry for over a year, or else donate them at food drives.
- Clothing: only when something needs replacing. I gave myself an exception for ModCloth when I went to San Francisco and I got some bras because I haven't gotten new undergarments since forever.
- Gifts: because I am choosing minimalism, not others.
- House items: if both Benoit and I agree that we NEED it. 
- Baking items: only if I it is for an order or if there is a concrete plan in place to sell goodies created with that item.
- Vacation: normal purchases are allowed on vacation, provided that I evaluate the want vs. the need (esp. for souvenirs).

Things I must not buy:
- Tea. I must not buy new tea from DavidsTea or other until I am left with less than 10 teas in my cupboard. 
- Anything from Indigo. Especially not decorative seasonal items, and anything in the paper department (journals, notepads, etc.)
- Books: I must not buy books. Not until I have read all the books that I currently own that are unread. 
- Gift decorating items: such as wrapping paper, bows, labels and ribbons. Although I am allowed to buy gifts, I am not allowed to buy gift decorating things. I may not have everything, but I have too much wrapping paper, and I need to start using it.

Now accepting bets on how long I will be able to last! I'll try to keep this blog updated on related thoughts, challenges and savings.

Laters,
Miss K on a Budget

Best purchases of 2015

Now that I've started a no-spending diet, I'm also slowly attempting to declutter. I'm finding more clarity on which items in my household are useless crap I bought for fun and which ones are excellent purchases.
As a way to honor my excellent purchases, I'm attempting to make a list in this blog, so that we can both, all of us, deepen our sense of appreciation for certain objects we own, and work on identifying value in other objects we own, or future objects we are about to purchase. 

1. Birkenstock sandals


I've had some knee problems in the last 3 summers because I tried playing squash, and my knees were not strong enough for the strain and I've had to do 3 rounds of physiotherapy and I am still at this time not very confident in getting back into it or impact sports in general. One big problem was shoes. None of my shoes had arch support, and I'd go through the summer in flat flip flops and year-round in a variety of other flat support-less shoes. I'd seen these shoes on a few people and they all swear by their Birkenstocks, so I thought I'd give it a go. Best shoe purchase ever! They are basically the only thing I wear in the summer.

2.  Iced Tea travel mug (DavidsTea)

So, I bought this mug (in fuchsia), and it's the best mug I've ever had. It contains 16 oz, and keeps liquids cold or warm all day. I don't even use the diffuser basket or the tea compartment and it's worth my money. I use it every day 3 times a day for hot tea, cold tea, carrying ice... It's my best mate. (That and tea from DavidsTea of course. I've also discovered cold steeping, which is totally awesome! I could probably write a full blog just on tea...)

3. Non slip mat (I bought a small roll at the dollar store)

I bake cakes. I sell cakes, and then I have to transport them by car to destination. 9 times out of ten, it leaves the house looking nice and on the way, something gets stuck in the icing and ruins my overall look, and I have to do some touch-ups. Actually, it's a miracle when it survives the journey!! 

When, last April, this cake (left), turned into this (after a big fall, some touching up, right), 

I bought the non-slip mat and then my cake travels have been spared the squished sides that used to be so familiar to me! Thank you dollar store! (note that larger cake boards and boxes add to the experience!)

4. Memory foam pillow

I can't show a picture of mine, because I got it IKEA but they no longer carry the pillow I have. It supports my head, I'm a side sleeper, and I haven never slept so good in my life. 

5- Double-wall glasses 

Sort of the same as #2 above, but I don't know if boiling water would be that great of an idea for this one... Super useful for iced tea! I'd like to mention that I discovered cold steeping tea - don't need to boil water! - such an amazing idea! 

The Law of Attraction

When I first heard of the law of attraction, it was with the book and movie "The secret" by Rhonda Byrne. I got the concept, all right, but I didn't really like the way they put forth the idea that magically things happen just by asking for them. Because they didn't really focus on the fact that you have to take action to get what you want!

But it's true about the law of attraction. How when you are in a certain mindset, those things that help you become visible whether or not they've existed before. For example, when I started thinking about selling cakes, all of a sudden the internet was full of small business articles. I asked my friend "is it just me or is it really fashionable to have a small business?" and he said he didn't notice! Ha proof #1! I came across tons of interesting articles about starting a business because I was starting a business!

Proof #2: After having gone to Hawaii in December, all I see are pineapples. Granted they are appearing in the fashion world, but I am talking about prints, cards, at the grocery store, tea flavours, soap scents. And not just that, I'm noticing when my friends on Facebook go to Hawaii. And I'm noticing Hawaiian books, tropical scents (pineapple, coconut...) and Hawaiian recipes online.

And now the current now: money, or more specifically, saving money. My friend told me about a site she reads: Blonde on a Budget, (and by the way I hadn't told her I was trying to save money), and all of a sudden, Mint starts emailing me again, I'm trying to not buy anything "stupid". Most of all I am trying not to spend money on new tea from DavidsTea and home deco items at Indigo Chapters. and that has been really difficult. I hope to continue talking about this subject in future posts!

Until next time, keep bettering
Yours,
Happy Miss K

5 current life improvements

A short post to serve as an update, things I am focusing on, things to improve and take action on:

1. Gratitude

I continue to practice gratitude. I've noticed recently that when people ask me "How are you?" I tend to take all the good stuff for granted (--> the everyday things like being healthy and employed, as well as the small daily things like a delicious cup of tea or someone asking me how my day is going), so that the things I want to mention are all negative (aches and pains, deadlines, work stresses, annoying coworkers) and so my average mood is always negative. 

Action I'm taking: instead of mentioning bad things, when people ask How are you? force myself to say good and think of something positive. 

2. Circle of influence

Following some end-of-year evaluations and feedback, the reputation I've built is one where I seem to be elsewhere that at work. it's not so much being negative as it is just thinking about other things and being "in the moon" as I like to say, dazed. 

Apparently the heart has a electromagnetic field that is 8 meters radius all around us, and that in some way it affects the people around us. Our mood will affect people around us. 

Action I'm taking: acting confident, trusting, lead by example, be the fire and the bright light in the room. That means smiling in front of others, correcting my posture, listening attentively, thanking others for their actions. Coworkers, family and significant other. I usually don't have that problem with friends.

3. Communication in the family

In my family, we accept errors of those around us by not ever bringing them up and bottling our anger. We also assume how other people will respond, and therefore not include them in plans or not go ahead with plans (depending). So I'm taking it upon myself to change my relationships with them because that's not acceptable for me any more. 

Actions I'm taking: Say when I'm hurt, even if I feel extremely vulnerable. Ask to be informed for certain decisions. Inform them of my decisions.

4. Me time

When I focus solely on important tasks , that are usually urgent or stress me a little because they're so important (like my bakery- ... oh that's right! I didn't post about that yet! in the meantime: www.gateauxdulce.com) I get judgemental on myself - not doing enough, not doing it fast enough, spending too much time watching TV (that part is true). 

On the other hand, when I read and do things I've been putting off that are enjoyable such as creative activities, reading and planning a trip, I feel like life is good. 

Actions I'm taking: Replace TV and online shopping with reading, baking, planning and creative things like drawing, painting, etc.

5. No spending on useless crap

Speaking of online shopping, after a big discussion about whether or not we should buy a drone for travel videos, which costs about 2500$ by the way, I've decided to see how much stuff I can cut out of my spending. 

Actions I'm taking: When I have ingredients for lunches in the fridge, but don't feel I have the time, I will make a lunch so as not spend money on a lunch at work. I'm super addicted to Indigo Chapters and DavidsTea so not spending there will be the hardest. I bought a gift at DavidsTea and then found a better gift (guess where? Indigo!), so I guess that was a failure (but I eat failure for breakfast) because I ended up with extra tea. But no more! 40% off online tea......... I check the specials daily but so far I haven't bought any! Yay! Only once I run out then I can buy more.... it'll be a while!!

I encourage you to set big goals and to take small actions every day to achieve them! Something that has helped me a lot is this Passion Planner, Thank you!

Signed, 
Miss K

Jealousy

A new pattern for me: jealousy

Jealousy isn’t something I am altogether familiar with…well, yes and no. Yes I am familiar with the heart ache I feel with jealousy, when someone I know has something I don’t and that I feel shitty for not being at the same place, but No in the sense that it’s rare that I get jealous. I must more often get that feeling just because I am judging myself: “I should be more like ____, but I’m not, and I hate myself for it”

I just got jealous again. My friend who’s shown me that she’s changed so much after taking a personal development class, I got inspired to do the same. I too have gone through a lot of positive changes. Now she’s totally changed careers and she’s starting her own business… and that’s what set off that feeling of “I’m not good enough” followed by “and I am never going to be.”

I took a moment to calm down and thought it through. Emotions are useful: they tell us something and figuring out what they are trying to tell us is Emotional Intelligence. This jealousy is telling me that I would like to eventually own a business. It is also telling me that I want to be excited about work, as she was.

And finally I can’t just push aside jealousy, by putting it into a small box for a rainy day. No – feel it, and accept it. It’s okay to be jealous. Now take action. You want to find career happiness, Karen? well go and find it. There is no other way. I’m sure she has gone through jealousy herself, and gone through a lot of negative emotions before finding something for her. Also, I can’t expect to have the same pathway to happiness as her, as our pasts are not at all the same, and our selves are two entirely different people.

I feel better already.

(PS. Reading material: http://www.forbes.com/sites/work-in-progress/2012/08/01/the-real-reason-youre-jealous-of-your-friends-success/2/)

Anonymous free lattes

I just finished sending anonymously free latte coupons to a few of my coworkers (free holiday latte at Tim Horton’s) 

I’m seeing a trend where I like giving anonymous gifts, and not dealing with their reactions. Or seeing their reactions but not being there when they are pleased. I thought, hey I just like being nice, and I think I also sort of wish these people pay it forward and grow in their own ways, to be better people. Perhaps it is somewhat selfish to be around people who would pay it forwards, but at the same time it is very selfless in the fact that I am giving for the sake of giving and not expecting anything in return (which is awesome!)

At the same time, it makes me wonder – is there a fear that I have? Probably: I’ve recently had an “aha!” moment realizing I have a fear of intimacy, in the way that I can’t pay a compliment and look someone in the eye, or be confrontation and look them in the eye, or be vulnerable in any way and look at them in the eye. As soon as I say something personal, nice or mean, I look away. As soon as I’ve said what I wanted to say, I look away, afraid to see what happens and be present for the reaction. When it’s a compliment I am paying, or something nice, often I will defend myself or not take ownership “well, it was going to happen anyway”. Another way I fear intimacy: I have a way of skipping over the bonding, “how are you?” part of a conversation to just get to the point… while other times, I’ll only ask about the other person so that I don’t have to say anything about myself (and be vulnerable).

The challenge here will be to say “I’m the one who sent it to you”, look that person in the eye until their reaction comes, and just listen and accept whatever the reaction is with humility and respond calmly if necessary. “It was my pleasure.”