'Open Heart' seminar that changed my life as I knew it

Dear reader,

I’m writing because I took this really interesting weekend 30-hour seminar in April in Montreal, QC and I thought I’d share it with you because it really changed my perspective, improved my self-esteem and awareness in general. Also If you are interested in bettering yourself, like I am, you might find something of value in my experience.

This weekend seminar is called Open Heart and, in a few words, deals with breathing, self-awareness and introspection. So I went to this weekend seminar because I wanted to get rid of stress I was having at my job due to projects (my hard time completing them) and stress related to my relationships with my coworkers (who are nice and evil and really screw with my mind). I received tips and tricks for dealing with the stress, but what I got out of this seminar went a lot deeper than that: I realized my stress wasn’t just about my projects and my coworkers, but it went a lot deeper into my sub-conscious.

We examined negative repetitive patterns that everyone has at least a bit of, so I figured out mine (the major one is seeking approval in everything I do and say), I understood where they come from and why I act like I do, how it has affected my life to date and how I can fix it.

I realized how my relationship with my parents has shaped the way I am in the world, my relationship with people (including coworkers) and with things (such as projects) as well as the way I communicate. I am somehow more self-aware and I realize more than ever how much is in my hands, and that I have the power to change my environment. It’s funny, I used to know this in my brain, and I thought I knew it, but the truth is that I realize how that I never really felt it; I sort of had a breakthrough and now see things way differently.

After realizing my patterns and because of the exercises we did, I’m able to let go of things that used to eat me up inside, short-term tiny things like a fight or the traffic and long-term things like how my parents raised me.

So, since the seminar, I’ve noticed a major change in my communications: I had a terrible relationship with my mom: always falling into her negative trap and struggling for air, whereas now I don’t let that shit fly! I may not be able to change her, but I sure as hell can change how I communicate with her and it’s become much easier and possible! I actually am able to have a real conversation (about real things, not the weather). I’m so proud of myself. I’ve also changed my communication in a similar way with my boyfriend, coworkers, and other people – I am used to reacting instead of responding reasonably and I am much more assertive and able to relax faster when stresses come up. Additionally, I am aware now of the negative behavioural patterns that people have and I can see them all around me and protect myself from getting absorbed into the negativity, mind games, etc.

Lastly, many of the exercises made me more aware of myself physically and emotionally. I live a lot more in the present and I have noticed a significant shift in my overall positivity.

This is what it brought for me in the last month and I am really grateful to have taken the risk in taking this course, and I encourage you to do the same if you see anything of value for yourself. I have increased my self-esteem, I improved my current relationships and communications, I am meeting new people and having good conversations with them, I also started to find hope in my career, I am able to deal with stress a lot easier, I live less inside my head and would say I am a LOT closer to inner peace. This seminar could also help you let go of illness if you have and increase your prosperity.

The seminar is called Open Heart (www.lyselebeau.com) and the next one is June 27^th (evening), June 28 (all day) June 29 (all day) and July 2^nd (evening).

If you have any questions or comments or would simply like to talk about it, please send your comments. I look forward to your reply, and have a nice day,

Miss K

Put a smile on your face!

Yesterday, I went into my yoga class happy to have finished the day. Soon enough, I find that I can't find my sense of balance and I have small pains here and there, and that I can't seem to hold a pose for more than 1 second. Soon enough, I start saying to myself that I suck and that I am not good at yoga. Also I cried a bit during Shavasana (a first). Needless to say, I had become in a bad mood, and needed to see this list asap. Sparkpeople is a site I like, and I've used it to count calories and exercise for a few months. There are some pretty good suggestions. Might I add: opening a bottle of wine and watching a favorite quirky tv show (since yoga didn't work). I knew that for me, I probably needed rest so when I got home, I went straight to bed.

Quote of the day

Every day, treat yourself as if you were your own best friend.

We will be victorious (Inspirational Sounds)

I have taken a giant step for myself in the last week, being assertive and putting my needs above others (which doesn't really happen a lot). But unfortunately, my actions caused a negative reaction, and a very immature reactions. I have been feeling like I have lost the power over my own feelings, since I went from "this is good, I am being assertive and confident" to "I did the wrong thing, why am I feeling like this?". So there are a good songs to boost my mood up and to let go of my doubts. 

1. "Uprising" by Muse, one of my favorite bands!!

Rise up and take the power back

It's time the, fat cats had a heart attack

You know that, their time's coming to an end

We have to, unify and watch our flag ascend

(So come on)

They will not force us

They will stop degrading us

They will not control us

We will be victorious

So come on

2. Wings by Little Mix

Your words don't mean a thing

I'm not listening

Keep talking, all I know is :

Mamma told me not to waste my life

She said spread your wings my little butterfly

Don't let what they say keep you up at night

And they can't detain you

'Cos wings are made to fly

And we don't let nobody bring us down

No matter what you say it won't hurt me

Don't matter if I fall from the sky

These wings are made to fly

Milkshake for a saturday morning

Matcha sort of makes me happy. It's green and grassy and it tastes of spring! It's super caffeinated (well, it takes only a bit to get the same buzz from a big cup of coffee) and it's delicious in a milkshake, latte, or desserts. Also in white chocolate (I am especially liking this one at DavidsTea). Matcha is expensive though, when you compare it to other teas. It's because it is simply exceptional! It is also super healthy, you can read about it on the internet... I actually bought a "watered-down" version of matcha from DavidsTea that is basically matcha mixed with powdered sugar. 

So I made this milkshake this morning:

1 cup Soy milk
1 teaspoon matcha
1 big scoop of vanilla ice cream

In a blender or Magic Bullet (which is what I have)

Yum!

Happy weekend :)

Less-than-happy K (a note on courtesy)

I'm supposed to be Happy K but lately I just find things that make me Mediocrely-happy-K. But, at least I am Aware-K who is also Working-on-being-happy-K.

Currently, the issue is keeping calm when people don't respond to my emails or texts or invitations right away, or ever. For example, I asked one friend 3 times by text message and once by facebook if she wanted to go with me to the Ballet, and that over the last month and no answer yet... That's only one example. 

I have issues receiving a "yes" to invitations that I sometimes make, be it to one person, or several, friends, acquaintances or coworkers. The current situation (inviting five REAL friends by Facebook Messages and getting zero replies) makes me think the problem was asking several people (5) at once. If I really wanted to go to the Ballet with someone, I'd have asked people individually, right? I'd take up most of my day to email or call and follow up many times. Note that these people had previously expressed interest in joining me!

I got me wondering, how many times am I required to follow-up? How many texts should I send before giving up? and what am I doing wrong so that people don't bother replying? Is it a coincidence that everyone in the thread accidentally forgot or had way too much going on in their lives to remember? 

So, a dozen Google searches later (the first ones only coming up with social-media related invitations.......don't people care anymore about real manners and real live hanging out?) I found a site that addresses ways to invite people out, and, using the second link, how to get them to say yes!

http://www.succeedsocially.com/invitingpeopleoutexamples 
http://www.copyblogger.com/get-to-yes/

I just wish more people applied common courtesy in their lives. Just because I have used facebook to invite my friends, doesn't mean I want you to treat it like a Facebook event! (i.e. don't answer, maybe means no, yes doesnt necessarily mean yes)....Either I have always had this problem, or maybe Facebook is the problem... 

Anyway, if there is anyone reading this blog, please remember your social manners and be courteous to people who invite you to do anything! Thanks!

Here's a short list of etiquette that people seem to forget:
http://www.affluentmagazine.com/articles/article/371 

yours,
Still-hopeful-K

Stop manipulation!

What I find difficult today is dealing with manipulative people.

Change can be good, even the most negative experiences can bring out happy moments, learning experiences, new friends, etc. But there can easily be more bad out of a situation than good, and that’s usually something that tells you that more change needs to happen.

A co-worker, let’s call him Steven, has moved to the group many months ago and it has since modified the group dynamic, and I don’t like it… Sure, it has made me realize all the sorts of things that I do not tolerate or that I let myself tolerate, and consequently things I need to change about myself (don’t care as much about people that don’t care about me, don’t care what people thing, do things for me and not for anyone else, etc.). But, this guy is, basically, in one word, aggressive. He’s not violent or physically aggressive, nor does he use strong words, but he makes people (me!) around him uncomfortable in his mannerisms and words. He verbally aggresses people by making fun of them, and manipulates others. Worse, he’s nice one-on-one, with few such aggressive aspects, but in a group he is dangerous. In addition, he’s sort of the Alpha male, leading everyone together, but conjunctively we all become his puppets. I say “we” because I too have been victim. Actually, I trusted him until he used my information, things I have told him in confidence, against me to destroy my relationships with other coworkers. Now I cannot trust his smile nor his friendliness in any situation.

I have determined that he is manipulative. He bullies, makes people feel bad about themselves, and thinks that he is superior to everyone else (and that he has the Power over the rest of us). Here’s proof: he’s got a puppet! That is, another co-worker, let’s call him Joey. Joey sits beside Steven, asking Steven many questions about his life, how he has gotten to this point, financial questions, life questions, work questions, people questions (it’s very annoying). More importantly, Joey follows Steven around, only goes to the social activities Steven does and let’s be honest, is becoming like Steven. Joey was (yes, was) a really nice guy, one-on-one or in a group, he stayed true to himself, and that was really awesome! When Steven showed up, he sort of lost the nice personality and started taking on one of “Steven’s apprentice”, or “Steven’s puppet”. And, when someone pisses him off, he makes his puppet stop talking to that someone too. Steven feeds on other people’s weakness.  He’s fed on mine much too much also, but that is over now!!

I’m not very assertive, but trying to be! He’s trying to manipulate me and I have to say no! I have to stand my ground, but I also have to become distant, passive, stop caring about everything, stop trying to change them, and stop being annoyed with their behaviours. I am trying to be indifferent towards my coworkers’ stupidities! Clearly I am not there yet, since I’m currently very annoyed as I write this, but at least I am aware of what I need to change and also I have resisted against his manipulations.

So dealing with a manipulative person:

1) Have to stay calm, relaxed, think about something else if you have to
2) Have to say no when I don’t want to. I have to remember that everything he says is for himself and that he doesn’t care about me. I must remember that. I need to think about me also!
3) Have to move on to another conversation topic

I like the points from this article as well, http://www.sheerbalance.com/mind-body/6-steps-to-stop-being-manipulated/ which is "6 steps to stop being manipulated". Also this article, http://lifehacker.com/5672291/how-to-manipulate-people which breaks down manipulation into a number of smaller aspects, which sort of sheds a light on the whole thing and would help you develop an anti-venom against manipulators.

Good luck!